are you a gifted child???

Recognizing the Characteristics of Gifted Children
ERIC Clearinghouse on Handicapped and Gifted Children (1985) cites three types of characteristics of gifted children: general behavioral, learning, and creative characteristics.

General Behavior Characteristics
Gifted children's behavior differs from that of their age-mates in the following ways:
· Many gifted children learn to read early, with better comprehension of the nuances of language. As much as half the gifted and talented population has learned to read before entering school.
· Gifted children often read widely, quickly, and intensely and have large vocabularies.
· Gifted children commonly learn basic skills better, more quickly, and with less practice.
· They are better able to construct and handle abstractions.
· They often pick up and interpret nonverbal cues and can draw inferences that other children need to have spelled out for them.
· They take less for granted, seeking the "hows" and "whys."
· They can work independently at an earlier age and can concentrate for longer periods.
· Their interests are both wildly eclectic and intensely focused.
· They often have seemingly boundless energy, which sometimes leads to a misdiagnosis of hyperactivity.
· They usually respond and relate well to parents, teachers, and other adults. They may prefer the company of older children and adults to that of their peers.
· They like to learn new things, are willing to examine the unusual, and are highly inquisitive.
· They tackle tasks and problems in a well-organized, goal-directed, and efficient manner.
· They exhibit an intrinsic motivation to learn, find out, or explore and are often very persistent. "I'd rather do it myself" is a common attitude.


Learning Characteristics
Gifted children are natural learners who often show many of these characteristics:
· They may show keen powers of observation and a sense of the significant; they have an eye for important details.
· They may read a great deal on their own, preferring books and magazines written for children older than they are.
· They often take great pleasure in intellectual activity.
· They have well-developed powers of abstraction, conceptualization, and synthesis.
· They readily see cause-effect relationships.
· They often display a questioning attitude and seek information for its own sake as much as for its usefulness.
· They are often skeptical, critical, and evaluative. They are quick to spot inconsistencies.
· They often have a large storehouse of information about a variety of topics, which they can recall quickly.
· They readily grasp underlying principles and can often make valid generalizations about events, people, or objects.
· They quickly perceive similarities, differences, and anomalies.
· They often attack complicated material by separating it into components and analyzing it systematically.

Creative Characteristics
Gifted children's creative abilities often set them apart from their age-mates. These characteristics may take the following forms:
· Gifted children are fluent thinkers, able to generate possibilities, consequences, or related ideas.
· They are flexible thinkers, able to use many different alternatives and approaches to problem solving.
· They are original thinkers, seeking new, unusual, or unconventional associations and combinations among items of information.
· They can also see relationships among seemingly unrelated objects, ideas, or facts.
· They are elaborate thinkers, producing new steps, ideas, responses, or other embellishments to a basic idea, situation, or problems.
· They are willing to entertain complexity and seem to thrive on problem solving.
· They are good guessers and can readily construct hypotheses or "what if" questions.
· They often are aware of their own impulsiveness and irrationality, and they show emotional sensitivity.
· They are extremely curious about objects, ideas, situations, or events.
· They often display intellectual playfulness and like to fantasize and imagine.
· They can be less intellectually inhibited than their peers are in expressing opinions and ideas, and they often disagree spiritedly with others' statements.
· They are sensitive to beauty and are attracted to aesthetic values.

Who are the Highly Gifted?
Highly gifted children tend to be those who demonstrate asynchronous development. Due to their high cognitive abilities and high intensities they experience and relate to the world in unique ways. These children are often found as a result of extremely high scores on an individually scored IQ tests, generally above the 140 IQ range. Others may be prodigies in areas such as math, science, language and/or the arts. Profoundly gifted children can score in excess of 170 IQ.

Highly gifted children demonstrate characteristics such as the extreme need to:
Learn at a much faster pace.
Process material to a much greater depth.
Show incredible intensity in energy, imagination, intellectual prowess, sensitivity, and emotion which are not typical in the general population.
The child of 160+ is as different from the child of 130 IQ as that child is different from the child of average ability. Current research suggests that there may be higher incidence of children in this high range than previously thought. Due to their unique characteristics, these children are particularly vulnerable. Highly gifted children need a specialized advocacy because very little has been done to develop appropriate curriculum and non-traditional options for these children.

Some Myths About Gifted Children
Gifted Kids are like cream that rises to the top in a classroom:
Not necessarily. Gifted Children can have hidden learning disabilities that go undiscovered because they can easily compensate for them in the early years. As time goes on though, it becomes harder and harder for them to excel. Which can lead to behavior problems and depression.

Gifted Kids are so smart they do fine with or without special programs:
They may appear to do fine on their own. But without proper challenge they can become bored and unruly. As the years go by they may find it harder and harder as work does become more challenging, since they never faced challenge before.

Gifted and Talented means the same thing:
Again, not necessarily. There is no rule that states that a child who is capable of scoring to the high ninety percentiles on group achievement testing must be considered gifted. We must remember that achievement tests like the Metropolitan Achievement Tests are "Grade Level Testing". Such a child is most definitely Academically Talented. But further individualized IQ and out of level academic testing must be given before we can define that child as "Gifted". At the same time, there is no rule that states a child identified as gifted should be Achieving to high standards in the classroom. This type of stereotyping can do serious and irreversible damage to both groups. ANY child can benefit from enrichment. Academically Talented Children can benefit from Honors (Grade Level) Classes. Intellectually Gifted children need a differentiated curriculum and possibly even a different environment.

They need to go through school with their own age mates:
Where it's true that children need to play and interact socially with other children their age, they do not need to learn with them. Especially in the case of a highly gifted child who may have a chronological age of six and a mental age of 11 who has been reading since two. To put that child in a reading class with other six year olds who are just learning to read is sheer torture for that child.

Giftedness is something to be jealous about: This is perhaps the most damaging myth. More often than not gifted children can feel isolated and misunderstood. They have more adult tastes in music, clothing, reading material and food. These differences to other children can cause them to be shunned and even abused verbally or physically by other children. Experts in the field of gifted education are beginning to address the higher incidences of ADHD and Spelling/Handwriting disabilities in the gifted population verses those in the much larger normal population.

are you a real man?

Are You A Real Man?
The crisis of the world today is a crisis for real manhood.
My eldest boy Bene is turning 7 this month and he’s thrilled. One reason: I’m making him a special manhood “Ritual of Passage” for his 7th birthday. I told him it’s the first of a three-part series: The first at age 7, the second at age 14, and the third at age 21. I copied this pattern from the knighthood culture, where a boy becomes a “Page” at age 7, a “Squire” at age 14, and a “Knight” at age 21—and since my son loved reading about knights, he’s giddy with excitement. I’ve learned that ancient and medieval cultures always had great manhood “Rituals of Passage”. The Jews have the Bar Mitzvah. Australian Aboriginal Tribes had circumcision. African Tribes sent their boys into the wilderness—alone.
But prior to these ceremonies, Dads usually passed on their craft to their son. That meant countless hours teaching their boys how to hunt boar, or saw wood, or shape iron, or throw a spear. Fathers also taught their sons how to endure difficulty and pain so they could fight for what they loved.
But once they got initiated in these rituals, the boys knew without a doubt that they were no longer boys, but men. They took the leap—from irresponsibility to responsibility, from being carefree to being disciplined, from ignorance to wisdom, from being a follower to being a leader.
Today, we no longer have these “Rituals of Passage”. Why? Because we don’t know what a real man is anymore.
Some guys think they can prove their manhood by getting drunk or picking a fight.
Manhood, my foot. Drunks are Sissies with a capital S. And hot-headed bullies are really disguised kids still throwing temper tantrums.
Real men have so much respect for themselves, they prize their self-control.
Because we don’t know what real manhood is, many boys, for most of their teen-age life, lose their way. For many years, they get stuck in limbo. They don’t know who they are or where they should go.
As Christian Dads, we need to teach what real manhood is to our sons and also recreate “Rituals of Passage” for them today.
For example, before my son’s “Page” ceremony on his 7th birthday, I’ll have 3 weekly father-and-son sessions with him. I’ll bring him out to his favorite restaurant (Thank God it’s inexpensive Jollibee), and while he eats his burger steak with mushroom sauce, I’ll discuss with him the 3 virtues necessary for a Page: Responsibility, Obedience, and Service—one virtue per weekly date. I’ll read stories, answer his questions, and give examples.
And here’s the hard part: I’ll give him specific projects to do connected to these virtues. It could mean doing things he never did before—like walking to Lolo’s house on his own to visit and serve him.
And on his birthday itself, we’ll have his “Page” ceremony. All the men in the family (his Lolo, Uncles, etc.) will gather around him. We’ll ask Bene to offer a symbol of his being a “Page for the Lord”—which would be a pair of brown sandals. We then bless him, sing a song, and invite the women of the family to join us for a festive meal together.
I’m going to be very blunt here.
Do you know why the world is in crisis today?
I’ll tell you why: Because men don’t know how to become real men.
Because fathers don’t train their sons how to live life.
Because fathers don’t raise their sons in the ways of the Lord.
Because fathers don’t mentor their sons to take responsibility.
Because fathers don’t teach their sons how to relate to women.
Because fathers don’t love and protect their wives.
Because fathers don’t lead their families towards a vision.
They’re cowards. They’re macho on the outside but flakes on the inside. They’re irresponsible. They’re passive. They’re parasitic jello.
Fathers don’t really “father” their kids on a daily basis. They leave childrearing to the mothers. They have no vision for their families.
Make no mistake about it. Families are in crisis today because we lack godly husbands and godly fathers.
The crisis of the world today is a crisis for manhood.
Let me give you this set of facts you may not know:
· Men commit 90% of major crimes.
· Men commit 100% of all rapes.
· Men commit 95% of all thefts.
· Men commit 91% of all offences against the family.
· Men commit 94% of all drunk drivers.
In one study, they asked fathers how much time they spent with their kids.
They were very honest and apologized that because of their busy schedule, they could only spend 15 minutes a day with their kids. After the interview, these same fathers were equipped with audio recorders—and for the next few days—the behavioural scientists measured the actual time they spent with their children. Average time a father spends with kids? 45 seconds a day.
No joke.
By the way, raising your children isn’t just about spending time with them. A father could be spending time with his children watching TV. Hearts don’t engage when you sit passively in front of the idiot box.
Here are the three things fathers need to do with their kids.
First, you bond with them.Play with them. Laugh with them. Do things they enjoy doing. Because my sons are small, I play their games, no matter how silly they seem to me. “Waste” your time with them, doing what you may consider totally unproductive. In reality, playing with your kids is the most productive thing you can ever do as a human being.
Second, you teach values.Yes guys, you actually open your lips. Not classroom lectures, mind you. But you tell stories. Exciting, inspiring stories. Don’t leave this to Mom. Men, pick good books and read stories to your sons. Stories of courage. Stories of service. Stories of heroism. Stories about God.
Third, you pray together.That’s right, Dads. Don’t let Mom be the priestess at home. You’re the priest of the family, so act like one. On Judgment Day, God won’t first ask the mother, “Did you bring your family closer to Me?” He’ll ask this important question to Dad first. Fathers, let your children watch you pray and see your heart for the Lord.
How can you do all these three assignments if you don’t spend at least a weekly date with each of your kids?
Fatherhood isn’t for wimps. It’s requires men of steel. It requires rocklike warriors totally committed to winning the battle for the hearts of their children.
Will you be a real man?

What Happens in Heaven??

What Happens in Heaven?
This is one of the nicest mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, "This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God, said in prayer, are received." I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section. The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. "This is the Acknowledgment Section," my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed "How is it that there's no work going on here?" I asked.> >
"So sad," the angel sighed. "After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. "Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of this world.
"If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."

Also, "If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation , you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.
"If you can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ... you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.
"If your parents are still alive and still married .. you are very rare.
If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you are unique to all those in doubt and despair."
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
Attn: Acknowledge Dept.: Thank You Lord!
"Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with."
Thinking of You. Peace Be With You

-got this very inspiring email from a friend..thanks..

How To Get Rid Of Bad Habits Now 1

8-Part Series:
How To Get Rid Of Bad Habits Now!
Part 1:
Discover What You Really Need
Do you have a hidden addiction that is stealing your life away?
Have you heard of the great Houdini?
As a young boy, I loved reading about him. Houdini was probably the most famous escape artist in the world. I’m not sure if the story I’m about to tell you is part legend and part history, but I find it utterly fascinating.
Houdini boasted he could escape any jail cell in less than an hour. One day, a small town in the British Isles built a new jail cell and they were proud of it. “Come give us a try,” they said to Houdini, and he agreed.
He walked into the prison cell bristling with confidence. After all, he had done this hundreds of times before.
Once the jail cell was closed, Houdini took off his coat and went to work. From his belt, he got a flexible but tough ten-inch piece of steel. He knelt in front of the door and started working on the lock.
At the end of 30 minutes, his confident expression had disappeared.
At the end of an hour, he was drenched with perspiration.
After two hours and totally exhausted, Houdini literally collapsed against the door. And the force of his weight was enough to push the door open!
Because in reality, the door had never been locked.
It was locked only in one place: In his own mind.
This meant only one thing. It was firmly locked.
Because whatever your mind says is locked—is locked.
Even if it isn’t.
You Can Be Free!
Friend, you can get rid of your bad habits.
You can be free from your addictions.
The Bible says, you have been called to live in freedom.[1]
I should know. I’m a recovering sex addict—jailed in compulsive pornography and sexual fantasies for years. Yes, even as I was serving God and preaching. Like Houdini, I tinkered with the “lock” of my jail cell and lost hope because I couldn’t unlock the door. (For my full story, read my book, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future. You can get it at http://www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph/ I’m making an audio book and E-book of this same book very soon.)
One day, I had a powerful realization. I discovered that the door wasn’t locked—except in my mind. I realized that at any time, I could push hard and the door would swing open—and I could simply walk out. And stay out!
And that’s what I did.
My friend, you can get rid of your addictions.
Here’s the truth: 70% of people get rid of their own addictions on their own. You see, there is no ONE singular way to get out of an addiction. There are many ways to get rid of your destructive bad habits. (We will examine all these ways in awhile.)
But before I explain them, let me answer a very important question.



What Is An Addiction Anyway?
I try to avoid technical words (my brain freezes up), so let me share with you my simple definition of an addiction. It’s any action that (1) you do repeatedly, (2) can’t stop doing, and (3) that’s harmful to your life.
Let me tell you a story my golfing friends like to tell. They say golfers love their golf more than anything else in the world…
One day, two guys were playing golf on a sunny day. In the distance, they saw a funeral car pass by—with a train of cars following it.
One of the golfers stops playing. He bows his head for a moment of silence.
The other golfer was very impressed. He said to his golfing partner, “Wow, I didn’t know you’re religious.”
“Not really,” said the other golfer, resuming his putting. “After all, I was married to that woman for 28 years.”
There’s nothing wrong with golf. It’s a healthy sport. But that widower was clearly addicted to it.
All of us agree that alcoholism, drug addiction, and compulsive gambling are serious forms of addictions. But I’m sure that most of us reading this article don’t have these more obvious addictions. But what about hidden addictions? They too destroy our life and the lives of our loved ones…
Do You Have A Hidden Addiction?
Here’s a list of common hidden addictions that harm us…
 “I eat compulsively”
This is the Number One way we try to feel better. I know of someone who eats at the slightest discomfort of life. If she’s angry, she eats. If she’s depressed, she eats. If she’s anxious, she eats. The truth however is that she isn’t really hungry for food. She is hungry for something else. Unless she sees this, she will continue snacking and pigging out, endangering her health.
 “I eat too much sweets, ice cream, chocolates”
I listed this separately just to impress upon you that chocolates is the Number One “Quick Fix” that people crave for when they are going through painful emotions. When a choco-addict feels hurt, or sad, or angry, or worried, she’ll spontaneously reach for her stash of choco bars. She has them on her desk, in the Ref, on her bedside table, and in her bag—for those “just in case” emergencies. Again, there’s nothing wrong with sweets. (I love dark chocolate and ice cream.) But in excess, it’s harmful. More importantly, you won’t address the real, deep hunger inside you if you keep popping candies in our mouth.
 “I go yo-yo dieting”
A few years ago, my friends were crazy about the “After Six” diet. And then, “Atkins” took over the dieting crowd. Soon, “No Carb!” became the battle cry of millions of women. After that, “South Beach” conquered the world by storm. (My friend says that he’s into the “North Park” diet. For a moment, I thought he was serious, until I realized that his favorite Chinese restaurant was named North Park.)
Personally, I don’t believe in quick diets. I believe in changing one’s eating habits permanently. I believe in changing one’s lifestyle forever—not just for 10 days or 30 days or 3 months. That means eating right and exercise.
By the way, the thin-like-a-broomstick super models found in Fashion magazines comprise only 3% of the world’s population. So I presume 97% of those reading this article have a body structure that resembles clunky vacuum cleaners rather than broomsticks. And it’s okay! You see, the goal is not to look like these super models and weigh less. The goal is to love your body (no matter what body structure you have) and be healthy inside and out. If you don’t watch it, dieting can be an addiction, and its severe form is the next item I’ll discuss.
 “I starve myself”
I met a young girl who was exceedingly thin. She was so thin, she could stand sideways and be invisible. Yet when I talked to her, she told me, “Uncle Bo, I’m so fat!” She grabs her reed-like arm, touches non-existent fat, and says, “See?” This young woman has Anorexia Nervosa. Starving herself (to death) is the only way she can control her seemingly uncontrollable life. Bulimia on the other hand is when a person gorges himself with food and vomits it all out. I know of others who are addicted to dieting pills and are harming their bodies.
 “I shop too much and have buying binges”
Lots and lots of women shop to feel better. They feel happy, beautiful, and alive when they buy a new shoe, a new stocking, a new blouse, a new perfume, a new watch… But if this is done repetitively and excessively, it’s a destructive habit. Do you want to know if you’re a shopaholic? Check your house. Is it full of stuff that you don’t use? Count how many shoes you have. Do you have 30 pairs that you haven’t used in a year? Do you have as many bags that you also haven’t used in a year? Many people are drowning in debt because they can’t control their shopping. In reality, deep within, a shopaholic isn’t looking for “something”. There’s an emptiness that can’t be filled up by a dress, a scarf, a bracelet, or a new pair of high heels. Ultimately, they’re looking for something they can’t buy.
 “I compulsively smoke”
Today, I see a lot of young people sitting in Coffee Shops—but instead of sitting inside where there’s air-conditioning, they sit outside under the sweltering heat of the Philippine sun—because they want to smoke. Isn’t that absurd? Today, I also see young people standing outside their offices during their breaks—again underneath the hot sun and breathing in the pollution of our smoke-belching buses—because they want to smoke. I tell you, it’s illogical. But like the golfer in my story above, addicts don’t think logically anymore. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances in the world today. It’s a chemical that gets into your brain and at the first inhale, fights fatigue, suppresses appetite, and lifts your mood. It’s been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that smoking can cause lung cancer, painful emphysema, bad breath, ugly teeth, dark lips, but to a smoker, who cares?
 “I get angry, yell too often, and throw temper tantrums”
For a rage-aholic, anger is his all-around tool. He uses it for every situation. It’s the only tool he knows how to use. When he’s afraid, he gets angry. When he’s worried, he gets angry. When he’s sad, he gets angry.
I compare anger to a hammer. Using anger for everything is as silly as using the hammer for sewing a shirt, drawing water, healing a wound, and cooking food. It simply won’t work. If you need to sew a shirt, you need a needle, not a hammer. If you need to draw water, you need a pail, not a hammer.
Because of this, anger-addicts are ineffective parents, spouses, friends, and business partners. Some of them argue too much, pick petty fights, and leave a trail of broken relationships. Others are more quiet and demure outside their homes because they bottle up their anger with their friends and in their workplace, but unleash their toxic anger on their kids.
 “I complain a lot”
It’s a silly bad habit. (But come to think of it, what bad habits aren’t silly?) You fill the room with your negativity. More importantly, you fill your life with negativity. And it attracts more of it, so you multiply the stuff you can complain about. Believe me, no one would like to be with a complainer except fellow complainers.
 “I worry too much”
God gave us the ability to panic for emergency situations where we need to act quickly. But for a worry-addict, almost every situation is an emergency situation. So throughout the day, she’s in constant panic mode. If the anger-addict person uses the hammer for everything, the worry-addict uses a needle for everything. She “needles” every situation, looking for what may go wrong, always imagining how everything will go wrong. And because our fears are powerful, we end up creating the imaginary monsters into existence.
 “I drink too much coffee (or cola).”
I know a human being (yes, he’s a human being) who drinks 10 cups of coffee every single day. My other friend drinks 6 cans of diet cola every single day. Because it’s diet, she argues that it’s no longer bad for her. I told her that because she’s drinking too much artificial sweeteners, she may end up with artificial diabetes. I was kidding, but I still think it’s not a wise thing to do.
 “I sleep too much”
Naps are great for your health. But you know, sleep has become an addiction. Usually, too much sleep is a sign of depression or being overwhelmed by our problems. These people don’t want to wake up in the morning. And during the day, they want to crawl back in bed, under their covers, shielding themselves from the seemingly hostile world around them.
 “I watch too much TV”
Telenovelas should be watched in moderation. But the problem is that Telenovelas are designed to be addicting. They always end with great cliff-hangers: The child will finally know who his real father is, or the young woman will now find out if she’s pregnant or not, or the man will finally meet the man who killed his mother 20 years ago…
Studies suggest that if you sit down in front of the TV set for 3 hours each day instead of spending time with your spouse or your kids or other endeavors, there is a probability that one is addicted. (I’m talking of normal, active people who have jobs, families, etc., not aged, bedridden, or sick people.) Another sign that you may be addicted is if you have a fantasy relationship with some stars you watch on TV. This is normal for kids, but not very normal for adults.
 “I clean the house compulsively”
I know a mother who cleans her house the way nuns clean their convents, except that she does the work of 15 nuns all by herself.
When I visited her home, I discovered everything was polished, sparkling, and perfectly clean. I wondered if germs thought twice of stepping on her floor because it was too clean.
She’d spend the entire day scrubbing floors, washing curtains, dusting furniture, and picking up after her kids.
Everything was in order. Even the kids had to be clean and pretty all day. (I pitied the kids.) Why was she like this? Because if the house wasn’t perfect, she felt people will talk against her. Bottom line, she was a very insecure person. In reality, I felt that she wanted to clean something inside her, but couldn’t, so she just went about cleaning her house instead.
 “I compulsively lust”
One day, a young father of two kids confessed to me that he watches 2 to 3 hours of internet porn a day. He says he has to wake up at 1am, while his wife was sleeping, to watch his pornography. “I hate it, Bo. I hate what it’s doing to me. I wake up groggy the next day and curse myself for doing it. But I can’t seem to stop…” I told him, “I know exactly what you feel. I experienced that too, except that back in my day, we had no internet. I would wake up at 1am to open my porn magazines. If I had none, I would walk out on the streets and search for them.” But I told him that I got out of it, and so can he. Anyone can. This is the reason for this 8-Part series of articles.
 “I work too hard”
Working hard is good. But when your family and your health suffer, you automatically know that it’s an addiction. The problem with workaholism is that it’s rewarded. People pat us on the back and tell us that we’re dedicated, loyal, and industrious. We get bonuses. We get promoted.
Let me tell you a very sad story. There was one popular Christian leader who travelled the world expanding his ministry for the poor. One day, his wife called him up and said, “Come home immediately. Your daughter committed suicide.” Thankfully, it was a failed attempt. But instead of going home that day, he instead went to Vietnam to continue his ministry work. A few years later, that daughter committed suicide again—and succeeded. This Christian leader died years later, fired by his own ministry leaders, estranged from his wife and children. His mistake was that he was addicted to his work.
 There are many other hidden addictions.
Compulsive gossip. Phone calls every hour of the day. Daily trips to the beauty parlor. Even religious addiction—for people whose families are breaking apart because they spend their entire time in church. Etcetera.

Why Do We Have Addictions Anyway?
From a superficial perspective, addictions provide an escape so you won’t feel your painful feelings.
And what are these painful feelings?
 Hurt: “I feel rejected.”
 Depression: “I feel low”; “I feel old”; “I feel ugly”; “I feel fat”
 Despair: “I feel my life is meaningless”
 Guilt: “I feel I’m bad”; “I feel I can’t meet the needs of my husband/kids”
 Anxiety: “I feel worried that bad things will happen”
 Fear: “I feel afraid that I will get hurt”
 Hate: “I feel angry at myself”; “I feel angry at others”
 Shame: “I feel I’m not worthy to even exist”



Let me share to you my own personal experience.
For years, the predominant feeling that ruled my life was shame.
I didn’t know it was shame. I got so used to this feeling, I thought it was part of life. I would wake up with this “bad” feeling already. All I knew was that I felt extremely sad. And my thoughts were always about my mistakes—real and imagined. Like a guy who only played one DVD in his DVD player, and did nothing else except press the “rewind” button, I simply paraded my past mistakes before me. And then I’d imagine how this person doesn’t like me, how that person is angry at me, how this person is rejecting me. And I would feel “it” in my gut. It was my constant companion, never leaving me.
Years later, I finally identified what I felt. It was shame.
I was ashamed that I existed. I was ashamed that I was alive.
Can you imagine waking up each morning with this feeling?
That was my life.
And so to escape my shame, I drowned myself in testosterone. I got into Porn. At least, these girls were smiling and disrobing to me. They must like me. My sexual fantasies were the same—these women were attracted to me.
For a moment, my shame disappeared.
But, after indulging in porn and masturbating, my shame deepened.
How could I, a servant of God, do such a thing?
But I kept doing it for years.
I threw myself into work—work that would make the world like me. My approval addiction was even more powerful than my sex addiction.
But twenty years ago, I took my first steps towards healing. It was a long journey. (If you want to read the full story, you can read my book, Your Past Does Not Define Your Future. It’s available at http://www.shepherdsvoice.com.ph/. I’m making an audio book and E-book of this same book very soon.)
What Is Your Core Need?
At the bottom of all addictions is this statement: “I don’t love myself.”
At the core of an addict’s heart is an empty Love Tank.
Every addiction is a hunger for love.
He doesn’t like himself.
He doesn’t value himself.
He doesn’t love himself.
That is why I believe that only love can heal an addiction.
How Do You Get Rid Of Addictions?
There is no one way to do it.
But why do these various ways work? All of these work as long as they fill up our Love Tank. Once our Love Tank is filled, we realize we don’t belong to the jail cell and stay out.
Here are some of the ways of pushing that jail door…
 Spontaneous Maturity
There are people who got rid of their bad habits by growing up emotionally. In their younger years, they took drugs and abused alcohol. As they grew older, got married, and had kids, their self-identity changed. They kicked their addictions and grew in self-confidence. Somehow, their Love Tanks were filled in the process.
Not all experience this maturity. I know of a 56-year old man who’s been taking drugs for 40 years now. Marriage didn’t change him. Kids didn’t change him.
 Spiritual Conversion
My friend Tim is a classic story of spiritual conversion that healed his addictions. After attending a Life in the Spirit Seminar, he stopped smoking and drinking the very day of the Seminar—cold turkey. Prior to that day, Tim was a heavy smoker and drinker for 30 years. What happened on that day? Aside from the power of God, he felt these vices no longer fit his new identity. He saw himself as God’s son, no longer an alcoholic or smoker. Emotionally, he liked the new Tim. Ultimately, God’s love filled his Love Tank.
However, not all people who go through our Seminars experience this instant freedom. And like everyone else under the sun, even Tim continues to battle other hidden addictions. So what else can we do?
 “Go Back to Your Past” Psychology
I’m going to commit a crime. (Forgive me.) This is terribly simplistic, but I believe psychology is divided into two major camps—those who believe healing comes from the past and those who believe healing come from the present. I know it’s more complicated than this but let’s imagine it’s not.
Followers of Sigmund Freud are in the first camp. They’ll insist that for you to get free from your addictions, you need to go back to your past and deal with your unresolved issues. To do that, you need a trained psychotherapist to listen to you as you explore your unhealed wounds.
I used to believe that this is the only way to really help a person change.
Not anymore. My belief is now more nuanced.
Personally, I believe that psychotherapy works, and it’s NOT because of the brilliant, earth-shaking insights that one derives from psychotherapy. (These insights help, but I don’t think they’re key to our healing.) Instead, I believe psychotherapy works because of something quite simple: That another human being is listening to you—and that human connection fills up your Love Tank.
Why do I believe so? From experience, when another human being listens to you, doesn’t judge you, and loves you, you get healed.
That’s why Christian Psychologist Larry Crabb says that the Christian Church should be the best place of healing in the world. Why? Because it should be the most loving place on earth—where listening, acceptance, and respect is practiced. (Two “shoulds” that aren’t happening!)
I still believe that “Go Back To Your Past” Psychology is great for diagnosis. But there lies its weakness. Now that I know my sickness, how will I heal it? After I found out that because I was sexually molested at age 8 and 13, I was more open to sex addiction, now what? The question remains the same—how do I cure it? I still had to deal with my present reality. And here lies the strength of the second division of psychology…
 “Deal With The Present” Psychology
The other “division” of psychology doesn’t believe that this “unearthing of the past” is the key to healing. It helps, but isn’t essential to healing. Instead, they believe that the real cure is dealing with the NOW. For example, Reality Therapy pioneered by Dr. William Glasser helps people identify what they want in life and practice their power of choice.
The entire Positive Thinking genre made popular by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale falls in this category. Even NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is included here. And many more. These approaches believe that by changing your present thinking and acting upon your choices, you change your life.
 12-Step Group Approach
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and the entire recovery movement have touched millions of people. Today, you can almost be sure that there’s a support group out there for your addiction, whatever it may be. From Narcotics Anonymous to Sex-Addicts Anonymous, from Food Addicts Anonymous to Shopaholics Anonymous. Some of its most staunch practitioners believe it’s the ONLY way to help people, which again, I disagree. But when it does work, why does it work? Sorry for saying this again, but I believe that the program helps you fill up your Love Tank. The effort you give in attending meetings are baby steps towards recovery, making you gain self-confidence. The power of a loving community surrounding you fills you with love as well.

 Practical Approach
A friend of mine stopped smoking by jogging, sucking menthol candies after meals, and staying away from smoker friends. His wife and kids were also very supportive. He swears by this route, and I don’t doubt him. I think every time he took a baby step towards his goal, he felt good about himself. This feeling translated in greater self-respect, which meant that his Love Tank was getting filled-up.
 My Approach? All of the Above!
In other words, I believe in the Spiritual-Psychological-Positive-Group-Practical Approach. Because I will use anything that will fill up a person’s Love Tank.
Walk Towards Your Freedom Now
For the longest time, you’ve been in a prison cell.
You’re tired. You’re desperate.
You’ve been tinkering with that impossible lock on the door.
But in reality, there is no lock.
You think there’s a lock, but there’s none.
You’ve been deceived. Cheated.
The lock is in your mind, not in the door.
What is that lock in your mind?
I call it your “homing instinct”. That means an unconscious part of you would like to stay in that dirty prison because you’ve become used to it. It’s been your home for years. Something within you—the defeated you, the failed you, the unloved you—wants to go back to that dungeon. A part of you feels that’s what you deserve. This drive within you is called the “homing” instinct. Hurting people recreate their home, no matter how painful those homes were.
But as you fill up your Love Tank, as you value yourself more and as you receive love from God and others, you realize that you deserve a new home. You realize that you don’t belong there anymore. With a full Love Tank, your “homing” instinct no longer drives you to your past home. Instead, it drives you to your future home. You begin to develop a “vision” instinct.
I’ll discuss more on this in the next parts of this series.
I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez

to read more inspiring stories .. click on brother bo sanchez website..http://bosanchez.ph/

"At The Exact Time I Was Complaining, God Was At Work…”

click this link to read the whole story.. ^^,


http://bosanchez.ph/%e2%80%9cat-the-exact-time-i-was-complaining-god-was-at-work%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d/

Godbless us m0re.. ^^,

A Story To Ponder ^^

Confidence

Once a father and son were traveling with their only donkey. The father rode on the donkey, and the son walked beside him. Upon reaching their first destination, the people of the city greeted them with nasty and crude remarks.

“Is this a father?” they shouted. “Would a responsible father ride his donkey while his son walks?” The father and son felt terribly embarrassed, so they continued traveling on to the next city. Before they entered, they switched places, hoping that the people of this city would be more accepting of them.

The travelers were again met with harsh criticism. “Look at this shameful sight! A disrespectful son rides on a donkey while his elderly father walks!” Feeling humiliated, the travelers left that city as well.

As they approached their third destination, the father suggested that they both ride on the donkey together. This would undoubtedly leave no room for insults.

As they neared the city, however, the people gathered to view the sight. “Look at that poor donkey!” they remarked. “It can barely walk due to the weight of those silly travelers! Why, it will be dead in no time!”

The father and son tried their luck one last time. The only option seemed to be that they both walk beside the donkey. As they entered the city, the donkey bolted and ran away. The people of the city watched in amusement and laughed mockingly. Rejected and hopeless, left with nothing, the travelers realized that efforts to please others will never succeed.

—Heard from Rabbi Majeski

Comment:

Acting to please others can never be successful. A person who wishes to impress others will have to constantly change, for every person will demand something different. We must act according to Torah values, without being influenced by others’ views. Only this can bring a person to true satisfaction and joy.



“If I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, than I am I and you are you. But if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you.”
—Reb Mendel of Kotzk

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”

“The one who uses the loudest voice usually has the weakest argument.”

“The display of status-symbols is a result of low self-esteem. The self-confident person projects a modest image.”

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

“Only the strongest of men are gentle.”

naruto ^^

haha .. yes ..yes.. ive been watching naruto for almost a week now. and im in episode 52 na ^^
 im really hooked up ti sasuke.. haha his picture is my wallpaper..
i wanna marry someone like him.. lol

-jmy

sweetlikeacandy

i left you because i had fallen for you...




Message:
(gIrl)
If you see me walking the road with
someone else
It's not because I like his company
It's because you're not brave enough to walk
beside me.
If you hear me talking about him all the time
It's not because he pleases me
It's because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat.
If you feel me falling with someone new
It's not because I love him
It's because you're not there to catch me when I fall
If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going.
Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?
Don't let me walk with him
It's you I want to walk with
Don't let me talk with him
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall for him
It's you I want to fall in love with.

(guY)
When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk
beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty that
stands before me.
When you thought i was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat
I didn't want to assume anything and was afraid to
lose what we have.
When you thought I wasn't there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you've already
grabbed a branch.
If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am lost
I too don't know where the road is going.
Are we just going to turn around
Or are we gonna cross each other's path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?
Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side.
Don't let me talk of someone else
It's you I want to talk about.
Don't let me fall for someone else
It's you I want to fall in love with.

There are some people who meet that somebody
that they can never stop loving, no matter how
hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand
that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are
some love don't go away. And maybe that makes
them crazy, but we shouold all be lucky to end up
with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.
Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who
cherished you forever.

bdaygrtngs_18thbday

20:59:34
1-22-2007
edzyl:jOh advance happy bday! ..

15:20:35
1-25-2007
agnes: h0i yg0t! abat neh. ui,k.ila pkang kim bernados? og al patrcik alajas?
mga clsm8s u pg.elem.. hahha Qt au mo tn.awn. mga yagit au! nweiz... happy birthday!

23:12:30
1-25-2007
timmy: b4 ko ma2g.. mu griT nlng ku daAn ug advanc hapi b.Day.. weEe.. happy birthday jOh..Ü

00:28:24
1-26-2007
elga: hapPy brtdi jOh!!Ü

1:56:20
1-26-2007
eva: HAPI B.DAY joana.h

2:53:50
1-26-2007
rys: hapi bday joana!Ü.. wa jud ko kalimot ha?.. heheh God bless u dai.. i love you .. tc olweiz..

5:47:33
1-26-2007
Tyo normz,ite n norkenmar: Gud am. Hapi bday n may god bles u 2day n hop naa nka uyab.He..HE.. Pagstudy na kay exam nimo krn.. Godbless n enjoy ur lyf.

5:52:28
1-26-2007
Yenz: dae.!m0rnin'.!hapi 18th brthday dae.!wishing u 0l d best n lyp.!dalaga njud ka dae stil bataon jp0n ka.!ahihi.,muah.muah.Ö

5:53:12
1-26-2007
mitzi: hi joh!hapy2x.hihi..happy bday dae!guwang nsad ka!hahaha...

6:36:32
1-26-2007
ate vi: Hi!jo.. gud mrning.. happy b-day..

7:02:06
1-26-2007
susie: dae hapi bday..! waaah 18 nka..daga njud ka.. dae mgkadaku npd and imung rspncblity sa lyf..bsta dae olwiz rmmbr na GOD is always wd u.. He luvs u nd so do i..


7:10:05
1-26-2007
roefan: Hapi b0itday 2 u!

7:52:46
1-26-2007
ken ruelan: j0h hapi birthday!! heh ad2 k0 2m!Ü

7:54:24
1-26-2007
vanessa:.el0w agaw j0h.. hehe hapi birthday gaw..wish u ol da best..ayee..debut na nya..daga naka.. haha,. j0h k ra jd nmo dad.on nko c lalyn?

8:21:50
1-26-2007
lani: Happy birthday yg0t!Ö wahoo! we lab u!Ö fr0m lani and jubbly

9:18:43
1-26-2007
soulmate: Hapi bday s0ulm8

9:28:43
1-26-2007
Merk: Dae,hapi bday!,Ü grit sad c krby nmu.. d daw xa ka.ad2 2m cz d xa sugtan..

10:23:14
1-26-2007
te sarah: HaPi beerday t0 U.. wshn y'al tha best n layp.. labshue j0h..Ö
g'bless u 0wiez

10:45:41
1-26-2007
eula: HAPYY BIRTHDAY!!!

11:16:27
1-26-2007
lalyn: happy b.day.. wish u nga motambok nka.! aw unsa bah! wakeke joke! hope mor bday 2 come! mwaah..

11:25:33
1-26-2007
apol: elow dae! xenxa now lng qew txt coz kwun qew nkafalud..ky tzt mn gUd nAmOw.. hafi vrt.d cuz.. kw nhn kangah naa qew?

12:57:33
1-26-2007
richie: Nyc. Tnx joh! haha.. hapi b-day again!.Ü

13:22:37
1-26-2007
mama: joan,hapit nya simbahan. HAPI B-DAY!!

16:57:00
1-26-2007
van2: Happy birhday joana...

17:35:48
1-26-2007
ging2x: Hoi yg0t! hapi bday! krn pku nakalod!

19:07:18
1-26-2007
rod: advanc hafi bday!

19:26:55
1-26-2007
sham2: Hapi bday j0ana!

19:43:09
1-26-2007
yvette: j0h!hapi 18th bday,.ur n0w a full pledge swan!haha dalaga njd! ehe. i h0p ud be guided olwiez n makn d ryt dcsi0ns 4 ur lyf., m0r blesings,. m0r b0ys..Nd gud health ..ur m0r ndpndent n0w.. s0 share ur freed0m! haha ampng alwz dae! labyu! mwaah!

19:56:17
1-26-2007
jobeth: el0w j0! hehe.. Mzta? happy bday 2 u! hehe

8:18:11
1-27-2007
gwen: gud mownin! ming happy 18th bday! may u hav mor bdys 2cum!wsh u gd health nd ol d bst n lyf.. god bless! happy bday agn.. luv y0 ming! mwah2x..!

21:23:48
1-26-2007
k0rj: nd cuz..HAPY bDAY! i lav u.. Hop uL HAV A hapy celebrtn 2mrw..

00:00:10
1-27-2007
elen: happy 18th birthday dae..Ö magwang jd ka nq.. =p.. nj0i ur brthday.. legal age nka..*char.. muwah

22:23:52
1-27-2007
richie:hey jo, tnx kaau 4 everything!!! s0ri sayo mi na uli.. Apprciate d thngs u dne. and 18th happy b-day!Ü

23:19:22
1-27-2007
hari:joh tnx gyud ka.ayu.. Nalingaw gyud ko... hehe Tnx gyud... Happy bday and may u have a succsful and wndrful life...


>>and 2 0l sa ni grit tnx jud au!ang uban wala nkp0st drie.. tnx jpn au! tnx sa tnan<<

l0vey0u guys!!

-angel joh-

imagrl

im a girl who knows how to clean the house...but i seldom do it


im a girl who knows how to take care of my sisters...but i dont spend so much time with them


im a girl who has nothing to do in life but to make sure everyone is okay...tho i am not


im a girl who has nothing to do if i want to eat...i eat.. if i want to talk.. i talk... :c but not at ol times..


im a girl who loves mocca cake,mocca ice cream and anything that is made of mocca..unusual right?


im a girl who loves to eat ice... yea buy me a softdrink.. just let me eat the ice..and yea u can drink it up...


im a girl who loves to hug huggable people...can i hug u?


im a girl who doesnt want things that's complicated... but i wonder i always get stucked on it..


im a girl who doesnt want things thats always planned... i love the one snap idea..


im a girl hu does the stupid things in life in uncommon way... its excitng for me..






hehehe .. i can't imagine i made this.. yea .. i did..

myfrstentryever n_n

why am i making a blog all of sudden? what have i eaten? ... maybe .. maybe ds thoughts are going to burst if i don't let it out...lol
oh.. im going to make entries..if the feeling calls me so... now that i really have the call.. il do it so.. n_n

-jmy